Lessons Learned (:

       I guess you could say that for me, high school was a roller coaster. Freshmen year in Wickenburg was the time of my life with my very best friends. We lived hard, and laughed even harder. We didn't worry about fitting in or being "popular", but we sure as hell got the butterflies when those senior boys would walk into class. We were young and carefree.
     I'll never forget the day my parents called me into their room and gave me the news that we were moving to Holbrook. My little 15-year-old heart was crushed. But I packed up the boxes I knew all too well, and loaded up the U-Haul one more time. My sophomore year began a few short weeks later and I was all too ready for it to be over as soon as it started....but then I met....him.
     I guess he was nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary, but then neither was I. But somehow he was perfect to me. He said hi to me the first time after soccer. Later, we were introduced by a close friend at a soccer game - something we both loved - and ever since then, my life really hasn't been the same.
     I guess I fell too hard and much too fast, but once I was down, it was hard to get back up. I never expected him to be such a big part of my life. I guess you could say that he was my first love...but I was far from his. People warned me about the way he was, but I couldn't listen to them. He had become everything I wanted. I tried everything I could to be the perfect girl for him. School became less about grades and more about looks. My relationships with my friends slowly melted away. Even soccer became less of something I wanted to do and more of something I did to see him. In a sense, I lost my purpose and my opinions of things and did what I thought he would be happy with.
     Things didn't exactly turn out the way I had planned, or hoped. We had more break ups and make ups than I'd like to count. Hearts were broken, many bridges were burned, and tears were spilt, but I don't regret a moment of it. If anything, I've learned the most from him.
     You can't live your life for someone else. That's a big thing he taught me. Regardless of circumstances, nothing you change about yourself should impress anyone. Someone someday will learn how you laugh, how you eat, what you look like under your make up. He'll know how much you love chocolate, how hyper you can get from sugar, how cranky you are in the mornings and how obnoxious you can be when you're tired, and he'll love you FOR that. He taught me to always believe in myself; sometimes confidence is the greatest thing you can wear. Whether you mess up or succeed, if you do it confidently, no one will know the difference. I learned that true friends are there for you through EVERYTHING no matter what. I learned that things always happen for a reason, even if we don't know what that reason is, God does. And lastly, that no matter what it throws at you, life goes on.

     An unknown author once wrote, "Some people are meant only to stay in your heart....not in your life," and that's the lesson I've come to understand most. Although we're great friends now, he's not a big part of my life the way he used to be. And I've come to accept that. I never thought that through it all, he'd be the one I'm most appreciative of. Without him, I don't know who I would be today. Every tear that had to fall from my eyes, and every day I wondered how I'd get through the night, I grateful for every scar. I'm glad that now, I can look back through the tears, smile and say, "Thanks for the memories, but most importantly, thanks for the lessons."